So. Yeah, like I thought, my schedule is already messed up. This is what I get for trying to sleep through the cramps and pain and you can bite me if you don't like the tmi.

In other news, I did read the French articles I have to present today in class. I even highlighted... a lot. Mostly important things. Hopefully I won't suck too badly when I speak it in French (because the articles are in English). But I'm sure I'll do fine. They're short, anyway. And it'll be awesome to get these out of the way so I can just focus on the 5-paged paper on the flâneur I owe DeMattos.

... I'm still staring at my icon going, "Awww, he's so cute."

Ftr, the icon comes from the art in this video. Yes, I realize a lot of people frown and disapprove of this kind of thing in the fandom community but I am one of those people who say if you put it on the internet, it's free game to play with. Besides, I plan to credit the video anyway because it's wonderfully bawwww-ish and all.

Beyond all of this. I've actually cheered up considerable since my last entry. I guess I just needed food, rest, and time for the pain to lessen. Which I've done and has happened! So yeah.

Idk, I feel like babbling a lot right now. ♥

Oh, I should probably also mention that because of caffeinic I've been taking very basic German lessons at LiveMocha.com. Which probably isn't as good as having actual lessons but I'm mostly trying to get my foot in the door. I'm also signed up for Russian, Japanese, and Spanish--the Spanish so I can review things that I haven't gone over in over a year.

So yeah. Fun stuff. I feel very lively compared to last year--hell, compared to a couple of months or weeks ago. So... who knows? I guess I am getting better. ♥
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I think I've been too burnt-out with posting to actually post anything. I blame the CFUW event XD

In any case, things have been going kinda smoothly. There's some bumps in the road known as my sleep schedule that's been disrupting things a little but it's nothing to really stress about. I'm done with my midterms (sob, that French Lit one suuuucked) and now have a 5 to 10 page paper to have done by the 17th and also two presentations to have ready soon-ish.

Thankfully Mardi Gras is soon. I think.

Lemme go check the calendar.

... oh boo. That's not till the end of Feb. Oh well. No break for me quite yet.

But I can get it all done. Jumping through one hoop at a time \o

And I just got done talking with Dr. Dolly who seems happy for me. This is a good sign. It means I'm not fucking up too badly in her class! Otherwise she would use that :( face and that disappointed voice, sighing and going, "Jazz... I know you can do better."

"Je sais, j'essaie, Dr. Dolly. :<"

Aaaah. So much to do. This quarter needs to end and then I can look forward to new classes \o

Ah well.

... note to self: drop the Chem class officially tomorrow. And also look to see if the racing forms are out. >.> Yeah.


EDIT: Bad news. The only Spanish course offered next quarter is one that requires prerequisites in 301 and 302, which I do not have. ... orz. Looks like I might actually have to drop it to a minor if I can't get the courses during the summer.

But I want my cake and to eat it too :<

OMG, FOLKLORE STUDIES. EEEE. DO WANT.
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Also my eyes are burning liek whoa with exhaustion, so I'm expecting them to bleed at any moment.

SO. TOOK MY SHAKESPEARE MIDTERM. ACTUALLY DID LOADS BETTER THAN I THOUGHT I WOULD. W-which is a good thing since I was barely conscious when I walked into the class. Orz.

During the break between the exam and picking up with new history/literature relations for The Merchant of Venice, I stopped by the Foreign Language Department (which was right next door, literally) and talked with Mrs. Donna going, "... so about declaring those minors?"

I will soon officially be a French and Spanish double-major with a double minor in History and English.

Count down to classes needed to fulfill all of these:

- 2 French courses (which if I pass these courses I'm in now, that will be cleared \o)
- 2 English courses (which if I pass the Shakespeare course, I will only have 1 left, and I'm definitely going to take that linguistics-y course my prof of the Shakespeare course, Jungman, is teaching in the Spring)
- 3 History courses (because I failed that English history course in the Fall, otherwise it would've been 2 :/)
- 7 Spanish courses (... well shit. I think I might be able to get one or two this next quarter and then go on next year with one or two (preferably two--they usually offer two of the higher courses at a time during the quarters...) and be able to finish it out in time. If all else fails, I can do what my mother suggested and go to Texas and enroll in the A&M there for Spanish course credits but LA Tech is picky as hell with what can and can't carry over. WE'LL SEE WHAT HAPPENS. IF ALL ELSE FAILS, I CAN DROP IT TO A MINOR *DOES NOT LET IT GO*)

And that's not getting into the GERs I have to finish out. 2 sciences or something, an appreciation course (think I'll give Art another shot), computer lit... ... I think that's it actually.

So plenty to keep me with a full schedule for one more year here at Tech. And then I'm done.

... holy shit, that is a frightening thought.

In other news, I have 21 pages of an article (which is actually more like 42 pages of a pocket-sized book) to read by tomorrow and a French exam at 2PM (which I need to make notecards for STAT) aaaaand... a crapload of readings and studying for the midterm for my French Lit course on Monday.

And that's not even touching all the readings I have to do for that Lit course after the exam.

Aaaaaaagh.

... and I'm in the middle of the CFUW event which has been AWESOME and WIN and IF I AM UP PAST 1AM CST TONIGHT, KICK ME HARD PLEASE BECAUSE I CANNOT AFFORD IT AND WILL PROBABLY HAVE TO GET UP EARLY TO MAKE QUICK NOTES SO I CAN GIVE A 15-MINUTE-ISH PRESENTATION ON THAT UBER-LONG ARTICLE.

Lolol. I sorta have missed this kind of insane rush. I do awesome when I have this kind of pressure on me, even if I end up kind of crashing at the end of it and go, "Afjasdfjk notmovingfrombedfordaysscrewyoulife," at the end of it.

Orite. I also have a 5 to 10 page research paper for my Shakespeare course due on theeeee... 17th of February. FUCK YEAH!

And then two articles to present in the Lit class on the 13th and 16th.

... I'm gonna make me a comprehensive calendar so I can keep better track of these things and NOT get involved so deeply in RP events or something.

And no one is allowed to hit me because I AM SURVIVING \o/

... *licks f-list* :>
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This icon is so the symbol of my guilty-pleasure pairing of Hetalia. Orz orz orz.

In other news, and away from the fact that I am a horrible person who ships RussiaPrussia, MIDTERMS ARE COMING UP.

... yes, this is exactly why I wasted an hour and a half coloring an icon rather than doing something more productive. It helps me cope with the idea that within the next week I have to read a crapload of French 18th century literature as well as the 16th century plays that are Shakespeare's The Taming of the Shew, Richard II, and Henry IV.

Ahaha... I need to get notes from someone in my Shakespeare course because I totally wasn't around when he went over Richard II. Thankfully, he repeats himself about philosophy and the Greco-Roman influences in Shakespeare's work.

Hey, angelique5666, if you're ever up for a study session before the midterm or something, I'm so there. And bringing with me Sparknotes and stuff. I dunno.

Beyond that...

... I can't stop staring at my icon.

I only realized as I was coloring it that I uh. Gave Prussia a similar skin and hair coloring to Russia's just... darker toned? I dunno... historically, the Old Prussians, who were German, did intermingle with Slavs... and then came the Teutonic Order and more Germans so... I guess Hetalia!Prussia is part-Slavic? I dunno!

... now I wanna write ficcage.
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So. Sitting in French Lit today, we were going over Boule de Suif which of course I failed at reading. So discussion caught me pleasantly off guard. (Note: Yes, we really talk back and forth in French and English like I have written.)

DeMattos: "Alors... so. The story was written...?"
Everyone: "..."
DeMattos: "... 1880. And now we run through questions of When, Where, and Who. Quand est l'histoire?"
Everyone: "..."
DeMattos: "..."
Someone: "1870?"
DeMattos: "Oui, pendant...?"
Everyone: "..."
Someone 2: "... la guerre?"
DeMattos: "..." *gestures to continue*
Someone 2: "... contre la Prusse?"
Me: *PING'D IN THE RP SOUL-ANIMAL*
Someone 3: "Wasn't it like the Germans?"
DeMattos: *makes a face and moves hand around in a "sorta-kinda" fashion*
Me: "Non, c'est la Prusse."
Someone 3: "But aren't they like German?"
Me: "Well, they're Germanic but not the same nation?"
DeMattos: "Ah... the Prussian were German, mais... ..." *EXPLAINS THE DISORDER OF THE GERMAN STATES AND THE UNIFICATION OF THE GERMAN EMPIRE*

And then we went into talking about the story which is all a critique on the classes and how they're viewed. But it does take place during the Prussian occupation of the French regions of Lorraine and Alsace and thus has a Prussian who gets Boule de Suif, a prostitute who originally didn't want to but was pressured by the others (mostly "les gens respectables", aka the higher-classes) in her traveling party because the Prussian said he wouldn't let them leave if she didn't, to sleep with him. And... yeah.

Hahaha~ I love getting ping'd like that. I was trying not to grin the whole time because FUCK YEAH Prussia! T-though yeah, bad image in French literature.

I also love how DeMattos mentions that there's a story where a French woman had syphilis and knew she was going to die, so she slept with as many Prussians as she could to spread the disease. Oh you, France.

And of course, it's partly because of the Franco-Prussian War, where-in Lorraine and Alsace (basically France's financial backbone at the time) were taken by Prussia and afterwhich Prussia forced France to pay 5 million (or did he say cinq mille, in which case it was 5 thousand? I CAN'T REMEMBER) francs in gold, that France supported the Treaty of Versailles where the same thing happened--but to Germany--after the First World War. From how DeMattos explains it. And yeah, remember, that's just partly.

Oh, history, I love you so hard when you start making sense to me. ♥
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... the German is because RPing Prussia makes me want to learn it. SO FAIL!GERMAN \o

What? It's on my list of languages to learn. *plots buying dictionaries and grammar books*

Anyway. Today actually has a good ending. Even though I was running around like a chicken with its head cut off for most of the day--running on 3 bottles of Vault caffeine (fucking Vault ZERO) and pure will and determination.

... though I should've added food to the mix. I chewed gum for most of the day instead.

Reading and understanding and speaking French while sleep deprived is always fun. For some reason though, I was reading better than this one guy who is hoping to get an apprenticeship or something overseas because he's graduating. I guess that makes me feel better? Like I've come a long way since I first started. That phonetics course really did help a lot.

And then in band, oh boy. Reading music in 140+ tempo with running 16th or 8th notes so damn fun when you're ready to just pass out. I almost started laughing out loud in the middle of the set, just because I was at that feels-drunk state of sleep deprivation. I think... idk...

And then I ate a hamburger and crashed. Hard. For four hours or so. When I woke up, my sister had stocked up the snack foods and said I was free to have half of it. She even let me have 1/2 the parfaits, though I know she loves 'em. So I ate one because it's light and my stomach was hating me for not eating much and stuff...

And now I'm ready to pass out again. Alarm's already set for 7AM and... yeah. Today's been pretty good even if crazy and hectic and stuff. I know this kind of shit isn't good for me, but you know? It's good to know that I can still persevere through things if I really try. I've been giving up a lot more lately than I had thought.

*curls up on someone*
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So I forgot to do this yesterday, so I'll do it now while I remember.

Things that made me smile yesterday:

+ Shakespeare class. Jungman is such a wonderful professor, getting in-depth with the history of the time of Shakespeare. Also, the story of how the theaters were being tossed over to the other side of the Thames and, after dismantling their theater to move it, the group Shakespeare was with bought a plot of land owned by the Queen and essentially stuck it to the Puritans in charge of the city and stayed in central London. Very amusing facts from history~

+ An elder woman sitting next to me in Chemistry helped me out by pointing out charts and graphs in the book that helped explain better what the professor was talking about.

+ I'm still giddy that I'm able to pronounce French better.

+ Band. In general. Music. I adore. ♥

+ achan_hiarusa helping me out with the confusion I got from Chemistry~

+ The 12th Detective Conan movie. ... did I mention I was loving music very much yesterday? Because this movie definitely supported the "I love everything musical" feeling.

+ George Lopez. Because his show always manages to make me laugh for some reason or another. Ah ha~

Aaaand, I think that's it.

Today's still happening so I'll probably do a post about the happys of today later.

For now, I leave you with some French:

( 'Les Djinns' par Victor Hugo )

... why yes, I did totally write that all out myself. I kind of have to read it and analyze it for my class on Monday. So~

Also, if you want the English version, you can find it right over here.

... I adore the ending of the end of this poem, but the English version doesn't really do it justice, in my opinion. Maybe I'm just picky since I prefer the originals of things. ETA: I might be tempted to do a more exact English translation of this poem, though. The English version by O'Sullivan really doesn't do it justice, I find.

Anyway, that's my educational literature post for the day. Or something. \o
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Because of recent personal low moments in the "I am happy" levels (i.e., been failing at being able to say that for a little while), I'm going to be doing the following meme:

1. Post about something that made you happy today even if it's just a small thing.
2. Do this everyday for a week without fail.

...

Well. To start off, even if the day is still young:

+ the weather channel said that there was a possibility of snow today (more than likely, it'll be the wet, soggy kind). This made me giddy as all else. ... until I shared the news with some classmates of mine who scoffed and basically said, "It won't be real snow like in Minnesota (because I have relatives there and know what it's like)."

But remained cheerful despite this because zomg possibility of winter weather~

+ More French history in French lit today. I r happy history buff who, yes, had to relate everything to Hetalia because I'm easily amused like that. (For some reason, I had the running commentary of Arthur going, "Five Republics. Think you have enough?" with Francis responding, "Oh, I'm not sure... certainly not as bad as how many monarchs you've gotten rid of, non?" and... yeah.)

+ Relating Shakespeare with my French studies. Because we were reading an excerpt from Madame de Staël's De la littérature considéré dans ses rapports avec les institutions sociales (abbrev. as De la littérature) involving the tragedies of Shakespeare and the difference between English and French literature.

+ My speaking of French is a lot better thanks to that phonetics course and I will probably be happy about this for a while.


... wow, this thing does cheer me up.


ETA: + Watching House be an ass.
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In French class with Dr. Dolly today, I came this close to saying, "Oh, yeah. France liked Ben Franklin because he was a pimp," while reading a thing about the Franco-Américain relationship and his name came up.

Thank you, Hetalia fandom. You make history so very fun.

Also, it's kind of weird having to tell a person older than I am that, yes, the French did help a whole bunch during the American Revolution. ... though admittedly, we had some fun hijinks involving guerrilla warfare before we got more support. XD
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So. Because I am a brilliant person, I end up leaving my school ID (also the only means to get food from the caf) at the bookstore this Friday and didn't notice until Saturday.

This means that I went the whole weekend surviving on two or three things of ramen.

... yey.

Also, I smartly decided to watch cooking shows Sunday night. Emeril, some American Iron Chef, some other Food Network show...

Needless to say that I was (still am, actually, gonna go eat here shortly) hungry. And had nothing to eat and no money to get food. ;o;

Luckily, I recovered my ID this morning and got a quick snack before going into my French class with DeMattos fully prepared! I read Madame de Staël's biography as well as François-René de Chateaubriand's biography and Le Mal du siècle, which is an excerpt from his work René (which I just read a summary of on wikipedia and wtf that ending).

Read all of that and we didn't even touch on any of these things in class today DX

Oh, well. I'm pretty prepared for when we do go over them in class. STAYING ONE STEP AHEAD, BOHAHAHAHA!

Also, I have 2 articles I have to read and then present to my class, so people on my flist who have knowledge of French: aidez-moi, s'il vous plaît? I'll probably write a post on them whenever I get around to them.

Also, am out of hermit more, sort of. I'm feeling kind of detached from the internet and, in relation, RPing. So... I think it'll get better once I get everything all balanced out. I seem to go through phases on this. It'll pass~ It'll pass~

And now for a meme!

Your Spiritual Number is Five

You bring adventure and change to people's lives. You are willing to challenge your friends and push them to grow. Right now, your life is about figuring out where to direct your energy. If you're not careful, you can become too unreliable or flighty. You need the perfect project. You live a free form life - which allows you to be very innovative and a great problem solver. Rules, schedules, and structure practically destroy you. You have to do things your own way.

... eeeeeeeeeeeh.


EDIT: Corndog, fries, chicken creole, and a salad later, I feel more alive. Not full, really, but no feasts after a famine and all that.
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Je pense que le cours de français avec mon prof DeMattos soit un cours difficile. C'est parce que je réfléchisse au dernier cours avec DeMattos ce printemps et... oui. Paranoia~ Paranoia~ Tout le monde me voit~

... if that makes any sense at all.

Yes, basically, I'm flailing about my French class with DeMattos this quarter. It is scarily like the class I nearly bombed in the Spring and... I really hope to do better in this class. I plan to actually do my readings and get all my assignments done on time but... yeah. I dunno. PARANOIA!

Orz...

I should probably get some food so I can not feel sickish at the thought of it being like last year. Orz orz orz...


ETA: ... my icon makes me want to write some FrancisArthur fic... taking place during the Norman invasion and Francis is teaching Arthur French (because we all know from the kink meme that that kind of thing is hot).

And now I worry what my parents will think if they read this post--OH WELL.


ETA 2: 2:18PM - Well, it's official. I am crazy. *continues to ponder studying the beginnings of her fourth foreign language*

Currently I have: French, Spanish, and Japanese. Note that I do not claim to be fluent in any of these, just that I know some of them and could probably get by in a country with the first two languages. Japanese I mostly can read hiragana and understand some of it when it's spoken to me. Couldn't write it or speak it for beans, though.

... orz. Some day, I will be an eclectic knowledge of foreign languages. Or something.

On my list to get around to studying some day: German, Russian, Gaelic, Greek, Latin, Italian, Chinese, Korean... Need moar languages. Yosh.

I'm also amused when my friend Patrick claims that Southern!US!English is its own language. Also, l337. *snerk*
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Well. Things continue to get interesting and leave me impatient for this quarter to end.

French class today was amazing in the fact that ma prof got locked out of her preferred classroom, so we had to go elsewhere and thus commences one of the most entertaining classes of this year! The topic of discussion today was le e muet, the silent E which is either pronounced with an "uh"-ish sound, par exemple le sond e dans "venir", or is at the end of a word and is silent-ish, comme le mot "je" ou "que".

Of course we had loads of fun when we got to the exercise where we had to not pronounce the E and kind of stumbled our way through saying phrases like "Tu te moques de ce que je pense," wherein some E's are silent and the others are pronounced. In this phrase the E's in the words "te", "moques", "ce", "je", and "pense" (the final E for "pense", that is) all have silent E's. So the sentence reads more like "Tu t'moqu'de c'que j'pens." Or something. IT'S HARD TO DESCRIBE WITHOUT THE PHONETIC ALPHABET THING.

But yeah. So much fun with that. Especially when I had to read a column of words aloud and ma prof goes all, "... D: How come you can do it so easily?" at me. Because she keeps saying le e muet and ahahaha. Fun stuff.

This up mood of course has nothing to do with the fact that I had over 12 hours of sleep and it was warmer today than yesterday. No, not at all.

... my sleep schedule is fucked because I go without sleep, get four hours, get four hours, then another 12 hours, then no sleep, then four hours, then four hours, etc, etc, ad nauseum...

Sob.

But anyway, fun times in French class and now I'm just chilling and... god, tomorrow is going to suck if I can't get to bed at a decent hour (i.e. not 4AM) tonight. I'll have to get some sleep aid to help me with that. Because I have busy busy day tomorrow thanks to that damn Homecoming parade the band has to be in. Did I mention how much I hate Homecoming? And especially ones that are on Halloween weekend? Yeah.

I always love me shallow homecomings where all the girls look the same--this is why I was awed by this story I saw on Glenn Beck the other night (it's been ages since I've seen his show, really), where a girl with Down Syndrome got the crown. Although it does make me sad to think some people probably voted with a pity vote, but I think that girl deserved it more than some of the barbies who tend to get the crown. Bleh.

No offense to anyone on my flist who has ever been Homecoming Queen. I'm a bitter (mostly because of other things not involving the Homecoming thing at all, really), unpopular girl who never gets awards though mostly because I don't try for any of them.

But aside from my being disgruntled about Homecoming this weekend, I'm just all set and ready for the quarter to end so I can go and visit my sisters and brother-in-law and baby nephew WHO IS FREAKISHLY TALL. He's up to my hip already and he's only TWO. Big boy is big! D'awwwww.

Anyway, leaving the post here before I babble about something else!
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Art Appreciation is good and dropped. Miss Donna, the secretary of the Foreign Language Department, suggested I attempt Dance Appreciation instead. Well, Foon/Shiz is taking that next quarter, so I'll just wait until the Spring to see if it's the thing for me or not.

In addition, I made Wind Ensemble (top band) in Band. Not too much to cheer over since there was only 4 bass clarinets, including myself. And I made second chair in the band, so...

But still +$75 per quarter, huzzah~ Not only that but at least I won't be bored to tears and feel like not showing up for band this year. Definitely not. This is top band. We get the fun stuff. And by fun, I mean difficult. And hopefully I won't suck so hard because there's another bass clarinet unlike my sophomore year.

Also, happy to note that setting my alarm clock two hours before I have to get up is A++ idea. Because I reset it for an hour and then another hour and then go to myself, "... okay, you've slept long enough." Huzzah for tactics like that being used to keep me from over sleeping \o

I also ended up offering my services as a French major to help out someone I knew in high school with their French since they have to take 2 more courses of it. I uh... dunno if this was a good idea or not, because I avoid people I knew in high school like the plague but siiiigh. Oh well.

And that is all for now. Hope everyone's day is going well~
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Turning in early tonight because sob. Still recovering for the two days of sleep deprivation.

Also because I need to read a chapter or two for my history class tomorrow.

As for how things have been today? Meh. Not too bad. Could be better but I'm guessing that's mostly because it feels like my brain is like sliding around in my head and is ready to come out of an ear or an eye or something.

... I love saying morbidly gross things like that.

Une autre chose, c'est mon progrès avec français. \o Ma prof says that I'm doing a lot better orally than I've ever done and this is A++ and I am in a happy place right now in regards to that sort of thing.

Now to fix myself up in History and English. Orz.

Anyway, night all!
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The following convo shows my mood atm (note: I r Azuma):

[Azuma] s'abonner a mes services ce soir, Kuroyan :D
[Basara] why are you pimping yourself out

|D

Yes, I am feeling very up this evening. Proooobably because good things have been happening or something. Maybe it's because I've actually had two decent meals today. Though... breakfast was kind of dinner for me, considering I stayed up till around 8 or 9AM.

Good thing is though that I set my alarm to 1PM so that if I wanted more sleep, I could just reset my clock to another hour. And I told myself I wasn't allowed to wake up past 4PM because I had stuff to do before my French class at 5PM.

Well, whatd'ya know. It worked. I was awake by 3:30PM, took a shower, worked on that assignment that needed working on before French, and then there was French class in which I was able to pronounce things a hell of a lot better than I used to and just kgajflkfd loooove.

Also, I'm able to help my oldest sister get herself a car. Of course this means I'll be short $240 until the 22nd, but that's totally cool because big sister getting a car \o

I still find it amusing how the economy is falling down around us and yet my family seems to doing better than ever. Here's to hoping we're not going to get kicked in the balls for it because, man, we so deserve this after those bad years.

In other news, I got to eat beef for dinner tonight! Om nom nom. The Caf had beef and I wanted so bad because I haven't had red meat in like forever. So mashed potatoes + gravy + green peas + beef + two slices of cheese pizza.

... I r totally healthy, yo.

But yeah. On top of all of that, my sore throat issue is virtually gone. And I was right that it was a nasal drainage thing because now my nose is slightly stuffed. Oh jeez whiz. Why didn't I notice this sooner?

So yeah. Am happy, am hyper, am also a little drowsy but we all know I end up becoming wired around 10PM or some crazy hour, but I also have me some Tylenol PM that I can take whenever I go back to my dorm if I can't fall asleep.

Ah... ups are so much better than downs~
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In the past two days, I've gotten about three requests to help people on their French. Yeah, they were pretty simple matters (and actually one of them I was just about as confused as the other person but we managed to work something out) but it kind of makes me feel better. Like I'm actually learning and I'm getting real good at what I want to do. It only took, what? Four years? Gg, me.

Not only that but I completely aced that test today in French. Memorizing the phonetic alphabet isn't too hard, actually! And it all really depends on the letters used and the sounds they make usually. I mean, sure. I got the phonetic symbols for words like "dernier" wrong but over all, I'm not doing so bad!

And really, this phonetics and pronunciation course is helping me loads. It's really building my self confidence up better than any other course has. Because a lot of my insecurities with languages has always been if I'm saying it right and with my knowing the phonetics better, I'm able to sound out the words better--in my head and aloud. Because French is full of those goddamn silent letters and all. At least in Spanish and Japanese, what you see is what you get basically (except when it comes to kanji, sure), and just.

I'm feeling kind of proud of myself. I'm kind of scared to feel this way because things tend to go downhill if I get too confident in myself--superiority complex in the making, I swear this is why I have an inferiority complex, to balance things out.

But yeah. Things like this make me think it might actually be possible to get an apprenticeship or internship somewhere. And if not either of those, then at least a scholarship to study abroad. Especially since I'm not as willing to half-ass last-minutely do things.

I dunno. This year has been way better than last year so far. I'm just hoping it'll stay that way.

And yeah, putting this out here, but I love you guys for putting up with my self-pity parties. I know it seems like I whine continuously but really, my self-esteem has gotten a lot better.

In fact, today I got other shit that needed to get done done. Apparently the dentist I went to when staying with sannask and horatio09 this summer is sending me a bill. Why? I already paid my bill, right? Uh, no. My dad's insurance company/job people's are being asshats again and insisting that I'm not a full-time student. (With 13 hours, I'd better damn well be considered a full-time student.) So my sister and I went and took care of that around 4PM today. Then I went upstairs in Keeny Hall to get an appointment with my counselor (since I missed my first one because lol surpraise band rehearsal at 4 instead of 4:30).

October 6th, I have an appointment at 11AM. Early, but why the hell not? I have Art Appreciation around that time anyway.

And yeah. I should've called the HP people and get the buying-a-new-laptop thing out of the way today but I didn't get around to it. So tomorrow, I'm going to be trying to get on that. And once everything involving the computer gets squared away, I can probably use the rest of the money to buy winter clothes and new shoes (because I have nothing but old (and by old, I mean over a year old and completely worn out) tennis shoes and one pair of Mudds that, while fitting and comfy and such, is already kind of falling apart when my older sister Shorty bought them for me for my bday, wtf) and maybe things like an iPod and a new digital camera. I am sort of lacking in the hi-tech department, anyway.

Not counting the money that I need to send to Sanna and Joe, I have around $500 in my bank. Now, I dunno how the computer people want to do things--a downpayment of some-odd amount and then the monthly installments pay or what--but hopefully it won't be more than $300 there. And then the $200 can be used for whatever. Or something. I dunno.

Aaah... this is the first time in a week I've been on the up and up in my mood. And last time, it had probably been months since I was that happy and relax and with-it about things. Just... I have no clue why the positive attitude but it feels nice. At least better than late Saturday night when I was talking with my friend Miguel who... I love him like a bro but I probably shouldn't have told him a lot of the things I did.

I dunno. I've been needing to open up to more people here since the only two people who know me as well as I know myself pretty much, IRL, are gone and I can't interact with them in person anymore. That's part of the reason I got kind of depressed this past week actually. The whole going stir-crazy and no one to talk about it with or anything because that would mean admitting I'm a different kind of person than I like to pretend I am. ... which is probably why I come across as a tight-ass a lot.

Meh. I'll work it out. Talking with Miguel was a step in the right direction, hopefully. I dunno if I can trust myself to do it with anyone else any time soon but at least I know someone's sort of got my back... even though I haven't talked with him since that night really. But Miguel's always kind of had my back. Especially sophomore year when I was stressing about my solos in Wind Ensemble. God, I nearly cried at him so many times, it's not even funny.

But yeah. One step at a time. Building up my esteem and working harder on my languages... actually reading my assignments--which I haven't really done but I need to read Bede for English History because we have a discussion tomorrow that is worth a lot of grade points and even if I'm good at BSing that sort of thing, I actually do want to know what the hell they're talking about. These kinds of things that I've been kind of ignoring for the past... well... since before high-school really. Man, I do love it when I'm actually interested in my subjects rather than suffering through them like I did in Sociology and Chemistry (which would be why I made a D in one and failed the other).

... I'm surprisingly in a good place right now, but I know some other people on my flist aren't and. Well. If I could send out waves of positive feelings, I really would. Love to you guys. You have no idea how much.

And I think that's all for now. Someone beat me with a stick if my babbling gets on your nerves. Norly!
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I feel the need to make a political post here sooner or later. If only so people on my flist (who range from extreme left to extreme right in the political spectrum) can understand just where I'm at in the whole deal. For now, though. I'll simply say that, personally, I'm still on the fence about both candidates and actually wouldn't vote for either if the votings were tomorrow. That may change in the coming months, but I really really don't know who would be best for the nation as it is now and how it will be pretty soon if we don't get our acts together.

If you have your own view about the American politic game this year, feel free to share. But like in any public forum, please do not bash the other candidate. I don't care if you hate them and think they should burn in a fire. I do not want the wank and the clusterfuck on my LJ. Take it elsewhere. Similarly, I do respect the person now in charge of our country only because he's in charge of it. He fucks up, yes, but he's human. Get over it. Bashing does not do anything to change that he is still the president until the elections are over.

But beyond that, I do want to hear your opinions and whatnot. Feel free to link to news articles and the like about stuff like that. But please do make sure they're creditable sources or I just might right it off as plain, good ol' propaganda.



That said, my French book was insanely expensive. There is absolutely no reason my text book--which is probably less than 300 pages--costs over $100. That is just fucking insane.

But at least I have it now and ma prof won't get onto me about it. Yay for refund checks giving me monies to work with!

In other news, I may not be online until around 9 or 10PM tonight. WE SHALL SEE. Because ahahaha, anime club meeting and I'm fairly sure people will want to watch more Soul Eater and watching Soul Eater in large group always = A++.

... also shit, I need to withdraw money to pay for my membership fee. D:

Anyway, class now. Later all!
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Rules: I was asked 5 personal questions by a friend. If you'd like to do the meme, leave me a comment. I'll come up with 5 questions, which you answer in your LJ.

( ehrenyu's questions )

( shadoewhunter's questions )

In other news, if I have to hear "Monsieur LaFleur a-t-il lu les vingt journaux espagnols que vous aviez choisis et mis dans son salon vendredi dernier à minuit?" one more time, I might have to hit something.

Sob. French accent sohard.
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Who knew that buckling down on my education would make me all "... what?" when people keep telling me good things.

For instance.

Yesterday, I was standing in front of my English class, talking to people. Now, my English class is right next to the Foreign Language Department office. And I happen to know the secretary pretty well--hell, she was the one that helped me out at freshmen orientation when I was the only one out of two Liberal Arts people who decided to go for foreign language. That, and this is my fourth year and I've been a pretty speshial student if I do say so myself--as in I failed a lot at getting stuff done. Epic, really.

Well, randomly, Miss Donna (as I call her, go go southern habits~) was fiddling with something outside of the office and noticed I was there. And then she proceeded to ask me, "Oh, Trinity, are you going for an English minor?"

... cue inner sobbing.

I said out loud, "Uh, well, I was thinking about it or something..."

To which she replied, "Because I was just looking over your file and you're one Shakespeare course away from getting the required hours."

... more inner sobbing.

See, I've been taking English and History as a way to fill in the hours for full-time status (also to put off doing my sciences as long as possible--which I'll be forced to do this next two quarters, anyway) and somehow ended up taking Englishs 101, 102, 201, 202 (the four required ones), whatever number Creative Writing was (384?), and my current course 406 (World Masterpieces). 6 courses times 3 hours credit = 18 hours. Apparently a minor in English is 24 hours or something. Either that or I took a class that also had English credit hours. I dunno. I'll talk to her about it on Monday.

And of course, I asked her then if she knew how close I was to getting History as a minor (have taken 101, 102, 201, 202, and the one I'm in now 403--3 * 5 = 15 hours). She said nope, just noticed the English one and thought she should ask.

So lolz me. I'm going to end up a double major in French and Spanish with a double minor in English and History. Because I'm apparently both fail and win.

This is what you get for taking classes you LIKE instead of classes they MAKE you take.

Of course, that's not taking into account how much longer it'll take for me to finish up my two majors.

In French, I've taken 102 (didn't have to take 101 though I probably should have), 201, 202, 301, 302, 304, 450, 470. 3 * 8 = 24 hours, but of course in majors, the 100-levels don't count, so that's only 3 * 7 = 21 hours. I think what's required is 201, 202, 301, 302, 304, 305, 450, and then three 300 or 400-level courses. Unless of course, that Foreign Language 489 counts as French (it did have to do with French literature of the Middle Ages). Then I have all but 2 or 3 courses left to take, if I'm lucky.

Spanish is a different story because I'm so far behind. Only have taken 101, 102, 201, and 202. So that means I have the same as the French situation to get covered. 301, 302, 304, 305, 450, and then three 300- or 400-level courses. Whiiiich is 8 courses altogether. Meaning that when I'm done with French the best thing to do is double-up on my Spanish courses. Quickest way to get it out of the way.

And of course, after all of that, I want to get certified for teaching, you know. Back up plan and all. Which'll take about a year, right?

So at this rate, it looks like I'll be at Tech at least one or two more years. Maybe less. Who knows? But I find that I don't really mind it so much.

What I do kind of mind is how my dad suggested going into military intelligence so I can get more languages under my belt, get some training, and then I can get into the FBI or CIA. And wouldn't that be interesting? And it's not just because my dad is suggesting it that makes me think about it more. People are all over foreign language people these days. It's actually good money to go into intelligence and it gives you a shiny thing on your CV and resume whenever you apply for other jobs. Not only that, but it would require traveling around. We all know I'm all gung-ho for traveling the world. But one thing that bothers me most, the only thing that makes me not like the idea, is that I told myself for a very long time--ever since I was little--that I would never go into the military officially.

I guess I'll have to come to a decision about that eventually. I don't want to join up while I'm still trying to get my degree though. I'd rather just finish out my plans here at Tech and then, when I know I'm ready to get my diploma, I'll look into all of that. I'm fairly sure they'd take me on. But really... I dunno. It's kind of a big decision to make and I'm just not ready for it yet.

Plus, if I do go with my plan, I'll be certified for teaching, meaning that when I retire, I can go about the peaceful teaching of kids and whatnot. Because I love kids. But who knows?

... and I make too many long posts, jeez. But this year is looking to be my deciding year. Make or break here. And hopefully I'll be able to do better compared to last year.

Feel free to give me input! I'm always happy to get ideas from other people to see what my options are.
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So. It's September 11th, and this is of course the one time in the year when I am all about remembering where I was and what was going on when it happened. Lots of things have happened since then (and I still lolz when I think about how I made a Spiderman joke when I heard the news--it kept my sanity okay) and a lot of things have changed but of course, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

Today is also my Mom's birthday. And one thing I remember most about that day seven years ago is how depressed my mom was when she heard the news. Because her birthday was ruined and well... I can't remember if this was before or after moving to the rent house (I'm leaning toward after) but August-September have never been good months at home, really--same for November-December, but we get over it. Of course, my dad tried to cheer my mom up by taking her out that weekend and getting her this lovely chocolate cake. I guess it helped things smooth over, but yeah. It sticks in my mind how my mom cried about how her day of birth would have that kind of scar on it because of the planes crashing into the buildings and that field in Pennsylvania.

So... yeah. It's been seven years since then and it's my mom's birthday. I love you, Mom. I hope you're having a good year this year what with your moving to open space and probably getting what you've wanted most for a long time.

As for me. I'm dealing with a few issues. Not too much--hell, no where near the stuff I went through last year around this time (thank god for not having a job, I'd probably die), but my attention span is the same as ever in the classroom. By which, I mean wandering every five seconds. My history prof told me not to read my history book in class because he was lecturing, but I was wanting to read more about King Richard I and the stuff leading up to the Magna Carta.

... which isn't a bad thing. At least I'm interested in the subject and paying attention to things. I just have to be mindful that it's my nature to have half a mind on what's being said and half a mind on what I'm reading. It's just how I function--though I hate that people make this seem like I don't pay attention just because I'm not taking notes and I'm not looking at them.

I've an excellent memory, really. I'm cursed with it in a way. It's a trait I got from my father, who--I actually learned from my Aunt Torchie--has a photographic memory. Isn't it always great to know why, when you were a kid and you were having a vocab quiz in a kind of game-contest thing which involved the teacher reading the definition and a kid had to raise their hand and answer, when the teacher only said the word "the" and you rose your hand before any other word could be said, so you were forced to answer or lose that point and you remember the only word to have a "the" in the definition on the list?

... yeah, that kid was me. And no, I can't remember what word it was anymore, but this is part of the reason I never study for tests and the like unless I'm very unsure about the subject matter--because I don't really need to. If I hear it once, I can normally remember the information. If I read it once, I can usually see the words on the back of my eyelid--especially if it's notes I've written down. Yeah, I normally need a trigger to get me to have that vivid a memory about it--like a question or something. "What year did the Normans invade England?" "1066. This is also when stone castles in England start becoming prominent and why the English language uses French words for 'higher' speaking--veal, pork, poultry, while they're only the cooked foods in English is actually the animals themselves in French but in English they're considered 'higher' speaking because the wealthy were normally the only ones able to afford meat and--"

HJgfdasfds.

God, I'm turning into my dad and I dunno how I should feel about it. Someone asks me a question and I have to start at the beginning and work my way forward. I'm a jack of all trades--majoring in French and Spanish while also having a healthy interest for Literature and History. And I can't not think and analyze and...

I think I'm coming to better terms with my being this way. I mean, hell... I was sitting in my History class while my prof went on about the Romans and Caesar initially trying to take over England but it failed so by the time Claudius was Emperor, they tried again and then managed to succeed--until Queen Bouticca raised a rebellion in the southeast side of England, burning down three villages--London being one of them. And because of that Romans never really got into Scotland and--

Okay, yeah, he was doing all of that and I was trying to figure out my family genealogy. Because I am win and know nothing about it. Might poke my dad into emailing me a copy of the family tree or something. Something tells me I'm doomed to be the next family historian. Orz.

And yeah. I was doing the spewing of information thing in French class yesterday. Because we were talking about the rhythms of the French and English language and I spoke up to say that in English, because it's more of a closed language than an open one like French (in regards to flow between one word and the other), there are instead, stressed and unstressed syllables which gives the English language more of a kind of continuous wave of rhythm while French is more of a gradual grow upwards until the end of a sentence kind of thing and...

My head is so full these days. It's actually been rather pleasant. Because when I have nothing to think about, that's when my mind finds things to think about. Which leads to me questioning myself which leads into that spiral of self-loathing and such and just... yeah.

So that's basically what I'm dealing with in recent days. I really think this summer helped me recover a lot from the Winter and Spring Quarter because, while I may not be where I should in regards to a number of things, I'm better off than what I was back then. Because... well, to put it simply, it really sucked.

I'm just really hoping that I don't have a seasonal depression thing and I'll be able to get through this Winter all right. I'll probably not get a job for a while, though, because I'm buckling down and trying to get all my education done as fast as possible. Even if it means I will be taking up English and History as minors if I can't get enough classes to fill the hours.

... god I'm probably going to be in school another two years at this rate, but hopefully it'll all be worth it.

And if you're wondering if I had a purpose to this post? Not really.

Hope you all enjoyed the babble!
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