Paper is done and ready to turn in and I don't care if I did it wrong this time. I'll do better on the next two papers and then the book comparisons. Blargh.

All I know is that I'm done. And I don't want to read Gorky for a while (will probably bring it with me on the trip along with the other book I have to read for the next paper--oh wait. And that other book that my sister wanted me to read but I haven't gotten to. \o).

So yeah. Uh. Almost time for History class and hahaha. Bolsheviks having their own problems keeping order after the Revolutions of 1917, ftw. Interesting time in history is interesting. Uho!

And now I'm going to zen and try to get Gorky out of my head for a bit until classtime.
.

So you know those reading reports I emailed my professor yesterday?

Apparently the email didn't make it there and it sent me a message saying as much.

...

FUCK.

I think I need someone to talk to so I don't like... have a panic attack over this. Or something. I still need to finish that French paper fuck fuck fuck... I am so close to wanting to give up on this but I can't but I want it all to just be over with


EDIT: ... why does the online syllabus say 6 pages. The one he handed out had 5, didn't it?

... sob.
.

F-four hurdles jumped.

Five more to go.

[sobs on someone]
.

So.

DeMattos handed out the essay portion of our exam... which is due next Friday.

HEY GUYS, I HAVE A 4-PAGED PAPER AND A 5-PAGED PAPER IN ADDITION TO THE TWO 5-PAGED PAPERS I HAVE TO COMPLETE.











s-sob.

Good thing I already posted my hiatus ._.


EDIT: Priority of the papers and writings and shit I need to get done.

- the 4 reading reports (MUST BE DONE AND TURNED IN BY TODAY)
- the 5-paged French paper on le flâneur (TRY TO HAVE IT DONE TODAY AND-OR EARLY IN THE MORNING TOMORROW)
- the 5-paged English paper (HAVE DONE BY THIS WEEKEND AND EMAIL IT WITH LOADS OF APOLOGIES TO JUNGMAN, ilu jungman dun hate me ;;)
- the presentation on the French education system (HAVE TO HAVE COLLABORATION WITH MY PARTNER DONE AND READY FOR THURSDAY)
- the 4-paged French exam paper (MUST BE DONE BY NEXT FRIDAY)
- the 5-paged French exam paper (MUST BE DONE BY NEXT FRIDAY)

... guys, if you can't find my body, it's under all the literature texts. You'll probably find me clinging to a surrealist poem by André Breton. sob.
.

I am so tired right now it's not even funny. Of course, I can't even complain about that because I did it to myself. Ah hah...

But yeah, not having such a good day. Thankfully, History class was mostly painless today and I only have to get through English and then a band audition and then I can go and do... something. Not killing my brain.

But yeah, nearly started whimpering at the idea of lasting through these events and then as I walked out of the caf, behold. There was a twenty dollar bill. And lo but then I took it and spent it to get me caffeine.

... yes, I'm a horrible person who found $20 on the floor and didn't bother trying to find its owner. Lemme alone. I also need $5 from this $20 to get me a bass clarinet reed so nyuh.

Beyond that, guys, I have no idea if I'm going to drown before the end of this quarter or not. It turns out I might have to serve community service time or something because of the drinking escapade and I'm only doing well in band and french atm and...

I have 5 books in my booksack all about King Richard the Lionhearted and King John, his brother. This is for my history paper. I, of course, will be needing to get a handle on my English paper very soon and just sob.

Can Fall be over already?
.

...

Okay.

Class is canceled today.

Still have to turn in my paper.

But professor is not here today.

...

*puts head on desk in computer lab and SOBS*

I managed to get to 5 pages... and then I was all happy about it and then I was told by my classmates that they only wrote THREE or THREE AND A HALF PAGES. I asked if it was supposed to be 5--I REMEMBER HIM SAYING 5!--and they said yeah. 4 to 5 pages.

I WROTE ~1,500 WORDS EN FRANCAIS AND I COULD HAVE GOTTEN AWAY WITH JUST A THOUSAND?!

...

*soooooobs*

A-at least it's pretty much done and over with and now I'll get to sleep this afternoon and then go to work tonight and then work on that homework assignment my prof left me.

...

*s-still crying. inwardly. but is definitely sobbing with some sort of relief and wrrrrrrrrrry*
.

I'm staring at a virtually blank document here.

I hate starting things. It's ridiculously hard. Not only that but I'm a paranoid perfectionist about these sorts of things even thought I KNOW I'll get it done and get a B, most likely. Happens all the time with my English. The only reason it would be different for my French is because I FAIL AT FRENCH GRAMMAR. Srsly, people say English has messed up grammar. Hurhurhur--no.

Also, note to self: Get ducttape.

... not for anything weird. My French dictionary that I got from juneaddams fell apart and... yeah, I glued it together last time it did that, BUT APPARENTLY DRASTIC MEASURES NEED TO BE TAKEN.

And yes, I realize I'm just wasting more time that I can be using to work on my paper writing this post.

NOT TO WORRY. I SLEPT FROM 2PM TO 6:30PM THIS AFTERNOON. I AM READY TO STAY UP THE WHOLE NIGHT IF I HAVE TO.

... good thing I don't have work until 8PM tonight, ahahahaha--orz.

Srsly, I hate starting things.

*just... writes something. anything*


EDIT: I HAVE SOMETHING WRITTEN.

And it fails utterly but oh well~ *keeps going*


EDIT 2: 3AM - The suckiest thing about writing a paper in the middle of the night is that a lot of people aren't awake so I can flail at them and go, "I AM A HORRIBLE STUDENT. WHY DO I PUT THINGS OFF TO THE LAST MINUTE? WHY?" and such.

Ah well.

CHEER UP, DAMN YOU. YOU WROTE A LOOSE-LEAF PAPER'S WORTH OF A PAGE IN LESS THAN AN HOUR. BE PROUD OF YOURSELF. THE FRENCH IS COMING QUICKER TO YOU THAN THE LAST TIME YOU DID THIS. YOU HAVE 6 1/2 HOURS, YOU CAN DO IT. YOSH.

... and now I'm done with the self-motivation for the time being. Dear god I just need to be told I don't fail at life right now. ;o;


EDIT 3: 3:51AM - ... you know. It occurs to me. It's FIVE PAGES. I mean, five pages in English would be a BREEZE to work through, especially with the author I chose to do a quick study on. What a FUN life he lived and such. But the French really slows me down because hurhurhur grammar and conjugations and WHAT'S THE WORD FOR ______ AGAIN? *GRABS FOR DICTIONARY*

Orz.

Thankfully, I'm spending like three paragraphs or so on his life and then the rest on his works. I have 1 1/2 paragraphs written for his life and it already takes up just as many pages. Especially if I leave room for the intro. Hurhurhur.

I am making this so much harder on myself than it needs to be, really.

*wanders off to work on it more*


EDIT 4: 5:31AM - Just need 3 more paragraphs, an Intro, and a Conclusion. That should get me to 5 pages. I just need that much and then speed-do my Works Cited page and gjaghdkjfagj;afeb... 3 1/2 hours CAN SHE DO IT, FOLKS. CRUNCH TIEM IS NAO.


EDIT 5: 6:59AM - 3 more paragraphs (including Intro and Conclusion).

sob.


EDIT 6: 8:42AM - Going to computer lab to print this sucker out. Well, spell check and grammar check too but mostly to print out. Actually have to finish off the conclusion and I MIIIIIIIGHT cheat a bit to get that extra bit of length to my paper--who needs MLA format, anyway? *runs off because her class starts at 9:30AM*
.

Paper is turned in.

I no longer wish to think about said paper.

Instead, I will think instead how I know a lot about Charles d'Orléans and will ace that section of the final.

And yeah.

Work today was hectic. Since I've been going nuts from lack of sleep because I was working on that paper and feeling a bit pressured about the end of the quarter, I was like a zombie in French class today. In fact, I actually blinked and went, "... I'm confused on how reading the difference between present subjunctive, passé composé subjunctive, and imperfect subjunctive would be confusing..." because a dude in our class kept asking questions... which normally helps. But I actually get subjunctive, unlike my classmates. HOW many times have I gone over that section in Spanish and then French? Yeeeeeeeah. Subjunctive not hard, yo.

So yeah. Funness.

Then I zombie-walked it to work and lolz. What fun~

Poor Andrea had gotten herself sick and Leighton and I had to work by ourselves quite a bit. Mostly because I kept kicking Andrea out of the line and telling her to sit down and not get up unless we had a line of people. Which, ahahaha. We did like 3 or 4 times today.

But yeah. Andrea was sick, I was constantly rubbing at my face to keep myself awake, and Leighton was stressing out because he's had like 6 tests in the past 3 days or something. I dunno. Maybe it was 6 tests this week as a whole. Poor guy. I do not envy him.

But yeah. End of the quarter. Tech people feel the stress--SEE WHY QUARTER SYSTEM SUCKS? ;o;

And yeah. Bit of a freak-out today.

Was ringing up customers, and ahahahaha. Receipt printer ran out of paper. No big deal. Went for the place where I was told the printer paper was--and there was none.

...

The money drawer does not open unless there is paper in the printer.

...

And this is around 3PM, a hour after Andrea asked me to stay till 4 (which is when I'm supposed to leave anyway, but she often sends me off at 3 because it gets slow around that time), and I'm by myself and there's 3 more people in line and oh shit where is the paper for this damn printer, the woman is starting to look not-happy and ahahaha--OMG, JASON. YOU CAME BACK LIKE YOU SAID YOU WOULD. HEEEEEEEEELP.

Yeah. Uh.

Bit of a stressor, that was. But thankfully, it was over and done with relatively quickly. Saa

I will finally get a full-night's worth of sleep, I think.

After all, I get to sleep in until 10AM for the first time in three weeks...

Hopefully tomorrow will be a good day. *snuggles her pillows*
.

I am so close to finishing this paper, I can taste it.

And yet I'm still BSing like no tomorrow.

That and I have to put at least 3 sources down--just to make it look like I ttly did an in-depth study of this stuff. Norly.

JFfgajkhg...

Got an hour to write maybe two more paragraphs.

I HAVE NOT BEEN AWAKE SINCE 6AM DOING THIS AND I ALSO DO NOT HAVE A FRENCH CLASS AND THEN WORK TO GO TO LATER TODAY. WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT. I SO HAVE A SNOW DAY IN LOUISIANA. YEAH. I WISH.

... *sobs*

I hate end of quarter~


EDIT: ... you know, if I weren't turning this thing into a website that is supposed to tell the prof how much of it is plagiarized, I would so show you all what a wonderful piece of BS this paper is. It reminds me of my English papers except worse. Wooooooooow.

*finishing up paper*
.

What I really hate is when people insist I'm a good student when I pull crap like this.

*trying to get this damn paper done*

I seriously don't know how to write papers anymore.

This sucks.

Why can't I write this in English.

English is easier to BS in.

Damn my wanting to be a foreign language major.


EDIT: Well, it's not so bad, but blaaaaaaaargh.
.

If you are, can you help an idiotic foreign language major figure out how to start her letter of motivation for her scholarship application?

Seriously, I've never done this sort of thing before.

Well, maybe I have, but I've never applied for a scholarship before. I currently have 2 scholarships--one I auditioned for, the other was awarded because of GPA and such.

So yeah.

How does one start this kind of thing?

Yes, you don't have to know French in order to help me out with this.

Any and all help would be great lurve. I want to get to sleep at some sane hour of the night, after all.

*sighs*



EDIT: 4:03AM. This is Jeva... crashing.

Dear lord I am so not liking these last two weeks at all. Can they be over with now? Hell, this week ending would be a blessing, really.

Et oui, I did finish my letter of motivation... I think. I dunno. God, I'm so tired.

...

I go pass out now.
.

Well, the sky is blue out today.

And tonight is the night where I work on things.

Things to do:

- Go to Walmart to 1) get pictures, 2) get pants, 3) ... maybe more fruit. All but the fruit.
- Write 31_days fic. Today it shall be a Murderer fic scene.
- Write essay thing for French. DUE TOMORROW. YOU WILL GET THIS DONE OR YOU WILL BE SRSLY HURT.
- Write emails to Dr. Dolly and Mr. Robken about Letters of Reccommendations.

I PLAN TO HAVE THIS SCHOLARSHIP STUFF DONE AND OUT OF THE WAY BY TUESDAY, SENT OFF ON WEDNESDAY VIA OVER-NIGHT, AND I WILL NO LONGER HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT UNTIL MARCH-ISH.

But then I have that other set of scholarships to think about...

...

YOSH!

Okay, I'm off to Walmart.

Will be back laters!
.

Sadly, I am still working on my paper.

Writing papers in English is tedious as hell.

But now I'm doing it en français qui est difficile et fastidieux comme l'enfre.

*soupir*

...

Je ne peux pas écrire l'anglais à ce moment.

Qui veut m'aider avec mon essai? :/


EDIT: Took a small break and lolz. Found some funny stuff.

So. The mangaka of recent times have been pulling some messed up crap with their manga (specifically in this case, Naruto, Bleach, and D.Gray-man). And... well. People have lolz and satora_chan has a theory:

"DAMN YOU, TITE. THAT WAS REALLY FUCKING DISTURBING."
"SERIOUSLY. WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU."
"Guys, you just gotta admit I kicked your artistic asses this week."
"I CHALLENGE YOU TO A BODY MUTILATION CHALLENGE."
"CLAMP-style?"
"HELL YEAH."

|D


EDIT 2: MEME stolen from _secretpassion_.

( 32 Questions Pour Vous. )
.

Okay.

Worked on paper a bit.

Then realized I was getting to that getting-sick-from-stress thing again, so took a small break and... cleaned my room.

See, my room reflects the level of stress I'm at, usually. And it was... well, a mess.

Clothes everywhere.

Paper (stories, past homework, notes from class, etc...) everywhere.

Trash overflowing--having not been taken out since two weeks ago.

... hell, I think my bookshelf is the only thing that wasn't touched in all of two weeks.

So yeah. Cleaned my room, Febreezed it. And...

I feel a lot better.

Still have to put away some clothes, but still.

A lot better.

Now I'm going to write out what I need to get done on my dry-erase board (which I've been too... everywhere to do at all this quarter), get my work time stamps for this next paycheck (next week) gathered together (if I can find them all), and then it's back to work with the paper.

Hey, these are things that I've put off for weeks doing, and it helps... destress me?

Well, it makes me feel more useful than writing my opinions about Michael Moore's Medicare Issue documentary in French. *shakes head*

But yeah.

You probably won't hear from me after 10:30PM at the latest. I definitely won't be getting on MSN or AIM, so yeah. I will probably glance over here from time to time to comment to comments, but that's it.

Jeva goes semi-hiatus, lolz.

Anyway, back to getting things done.

*off she goes~*
.

*one can observe the Jeva in her natural habitat which has paper, towels, clothes, books, etc. tossed everywhere while she herself sits on her crappily-made bed with papers and books and pens strewn about as well on the bed's surface; one can also observe at the moment, the Jeva rubbing a hand against her scalp in a scowling manner to make whatever thoughts will come to correct les erreurs--*

Oh fuck it.

Okay, I'll say it.

Correcting grammatical errors in French BITES.

Working on that paper of mine that I turned in last week, right?

The one that got a 71? Probably 20 points taken off for being 2 weeks late and the other 9 points off (or it could have been 15 points off for being late and 14 points off, or some other weird combination) because of conjugation errors, syntax errors, using le instead of la, using qui instead of que, not knowing when to use au or pour or not to use it at all...

And it's all of these LITTLE errors that are driving me insane.

Guh.

Here's to hoping that I do better on my next paper.

Which I haven't started on.

...

*puts face into hands and just... sits there*




EDIT: 12:22AM - Pretty much finished with the editing of the paper. Am now forcing myself to relax by watching Jeff Dunham before I go to bed. I hope to be a little more revived in the morning so I can finish off the fixing of the paper and then cram more for the test. Saa...
.

Expirant un soupir et sachant que l'heure passait, elle se secoua dans ses pensées et ferma le livre avec une claquement forte. Il n'y avait pas une raison à écrire les tâches elle devrait achever avant le fin du jour; elle le comprendait tout; elle ne l'oublierait pas. C'était en cette manière qu'elle se leva dans son lit et se distendait les muscles. Elle avait des courbatures à cause de rester en la même position pour le longtemps, qui était l'evidence qu'elle devrait commencer son voyage. Le soleil montait le ciel bleu pendant qu'elle s'habillait avec l'idée de la mode prominent. C'était le but des toutes femmes suivre--s'habiller le mieux, être le mieux même si la tâche simple. Quand elle déterminait qu'elle était présentable, quelque temps avait passé mais elle quitta de la maison avec les articles elle avait en cas de besoin. L'argent, les directives pour erreurs de service: tous en sa bourse tompant son bras.

C'était un voyage long à le village en son esprit mais elle s'occupait avec les mots qui elle aurait utilisé à les marchands en exprimant les echecs qui devrait être corrigé. Probablement, elle s'inquiétait trop des choses qu'elle ne pourrait pas contrôler, mais tout le même elle avait été préparer pour quoi que viendrait. Dérangé par les pensées préoccupé, elle ni voyait l'homme qui avait été marcher derrière dès le début du voyage, ni étendait les pas qui la suivaient comme un battement de cœur, jusqu'à elle arriva à sa déstination et avait effrayé quand quelqu'un dit, « Bonjour ». Elle se retourna rapidement et donna un sourire amical; elle ne le reconnut pas mais ce n'était une situation criminelle, une personne suivant l'autre. En tant que tels elle parla avec cet homme inconnu comme s'il était un ami qui elle ne voyait pas pour un longtemps.



... I figure one or two more paragraphs should be enough to make a page and a half. Also, am thinking about taking out the dialogue. Dr. DeMattos told us to try to mimic the writing style of this thing we had to translate before and well, it didn't have dialogue. Just a bunch of discription. Which I suck at.

Blarg.

So anyway.

French-speakers of my flist, please to be pointing out huge errors here. Don't correct me, though. I'll just try and fix it and hope for the best. You know... that way I won't be using your words or something and I'll actually learn from my mistakes. Like point out a phrase and go, "Conjugation error" or something. Because I suck at knowing when to use imparfait and when to use passé simple.

Trial and error, ftw~


EDIT: ... the Jeva is surprised she only used "C'était" to start a sentence three times. This is a good thing. :D


EDIT 2: Edited second paragraph a bit.
.

Finished my last French paper and now I have to run off to turn it in! Have fun reading and tearing the sucker apart! :D!


«L'indifférence tue,» dit un célèbre français et c'est vrai aujourd'hui avec les problèmes du monde comme les politiques, l'immigration et la pollution. De nos jours, il y a beaucoup des personnes qui ne savent pas ou tout simplement ne s'intéressent pas aux issues que devraient être les plus importants.

Les politiques sont un sujet qui cause trop des conflits entre les gens. Cependant, beaucoup de gens n'aiment pas les conflits et ils arrêtent d'en parler. Par conséquent, le sujet est ignoré. Mais, ces occurrences de l'apathie continuent encore créer le doute vers le gouvernement et le système qui on suit. Les gens ne savent pas qui ils peuvent faire confiance. Sans la conduite appropriée, l'issues et sujet importants reste en obscurité et aucun se rappeler. Voilà pourquoi on continue le cycle au commencement—tout le monde est indifférent.

L'immigration en est de même. Les gens insistent que tout le monde droit travail réparer par tout, mais ils ne font rien. Le problème de l'immigration illégal n'est pas le problème des États-Unis, mais c'est aussi du monde. Quand la population d'un pays voyage à un autre, ils créent l'issue du surpeuplement. À mon avis, on doit protéger la frontière et imposer des lois pour l'immigration.

Finalement, il y a le sujet de la pollution. Récemment, beaucoup des pays essaient leur meilleur contrôler les niveaux de perte qui ils créent. Il est possible que cette tâche ne fasse pas une différence parce qu’il y a encore les pays qui ne font pas suivre leurs exemples. Tel est le cas avec les États-Unis qui continuent polluer. C'est pour cette raison que les gens deviennent fatigués quand ils écoutent aux autres le plaignent.

Tout le monde peut savoir ces issues, mais maintenant, les gens ne s'intéressent pas. L'apathie vers les problèmes comme les politiques, l'immigration et la pollution reste jusqu'à quelqu'un fait un différence. Et cette différence est sentir.



EDIT: Except, of course, I can't print it out because of TECHNICAL DIFFICULTIES. So uh. Yeah. DON'T POST CORRECTIONS JUST YET. WAIT UNTIL I SAY IT'S COOL. UNTIL THEN, UH...

Well, crap. *headdesks*



EDIT 2: PRINTED OUT. DAAAAAAAASH!


EDIT 3: 2 hours later, I realize that I had this on Private lock. D'oh!
.

Just one more week. I can last one more week. One more week of Fall Quarter and then I get a bit of a break. I can go home and pester family and all sorts of things. Just one more week.

*sighs*

I'm just really tired today. And of course I still have band and work tonight, so...

Good news today, however.

You know that essay of mine.

Got an 80. Which is a B.

This is after she took 10 points because it was late.

So. Yeah.

Go me.

50% of my English grade so far is a B. Which means if I get a B or better on my Final Exam, I pretty much have a solid B for the course. As per usual with any English course I take--except for that 101 course my Freshmen year when the professor lost my grade and I didn't catch the mistake until it was too late. Freakin' C.

Anyway, tomorrow entails me writing my French essay, going to the bank to finally cash my paycheck from last week, and then Patrick picking me up to take me to Walmart so I can finally get some damn winter clothes. Which I seriously need. *sighs*

Oh, and a happy 18th to my sister Foon/Shiz. She is now legal, folks!
.

Okay. SO.

GONNA FINISH THIS DAMN ESSAY.

WILL UH. PROBABLY NOT BE POSTING OR COMMENTING AFTER THIS UNLESS I INSIST UPON A BREAK SOMETIME AROUND 1PM MAYBE.

I WILL GET THIS FINISHED AND TURNED IN TODAY, DAMN IT.

LOTS O' LUV FOR YOU GUYS.


( NEED HELP EDITING )


EDIT: You know. In some ways it feels like I've forgotten how to write an essay. All I know is that I just LOOK at what I've written so far and notice that a) It's all just the same thing just written in different words, and b) there are too many quotes, meaning I have to expound on something and I can't think about what I should expound on.

... maybe I should finish up what all I CAN write right now and get to the end of the essay before adding and taking away.

*scratches head and sighs in a bit of resigned frustration*
.

Got sources for that essay assignment of mine that I have to do. Am now going to check them out from the library, go to Tolliver to grab something to munch on, and then head back to my dorm.

Will post an edit when I'm at my dorm and starting on the assignment. Feel free to poke me even while I'm writing. I like the small amount of distraction, but be sure to poke me into showing you my progress or I might... uh... put it off or something.

Anyway, that's all for now--see ya'll in a bit.


EDIT: I fail at life. I'm only just now getting started and it's 10:53PM. *sighs* And I still have to read some short stories and write up like 3 journals for English tomorrow.

This is what I get for doing the Hermit thing, even if I keep trying to deny I was doing it.

But yeah. All I need to do is just write out a rough thing and then I can fix it up tomorrow after Psych. That should do it, I would think. And if not... well. Yeah. Whatever.

*sighs* This is why I could never be an English major. I hate, hate, hate doing these sorts of assignments. At least French is interesting to write little essays in--it's new and different and challenging. :/



EDIT 2: 11PM: I have now written out my thesis statement.

Works such as T. S. Eliot's "The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock" uses allusions and references to historical and religious works in order to convey both the similarities of the different times as well as the message that one way in which someone can immortalize themselves can be through the written word.

That should give me enough of a topic to blabber on about for 6 to 7 pages, right?


EDIT 3: Okay, it's 11:43PM and my thoughts are everywhere. I've around to 1 1/2 pages double-spaced right now and just... I'm everywhere and can't focus. Jeez. What did I ever do to you, English? Huh?

Of course this is all without citations for the most part, so... *shrugs*

Please note that none of the paragraphs I've written so far are even complete yet.

( What Jeva has so far )


EDIT 4: 12:20AM and this paper is annoying the hell out me. WRITE YOURSELF, DAMN IT.

I dunno WHY this is so difficult. I mean... it's an interesting thesis to work with. It's a concept that I normally would happily follow along with but noooooooo. I have writer's block so bad. *makes irritated noise*

Maybe I should wait until I'm high from lack of sleep. Then I won't care so much about how good it is or anything. Damn perfectionistic side of myself. *waves fist at*
.